Marriage advice? From me?

Ok, I know that I am probably the last person that people want to take marriage advice from, due to the fact that I have one of the most unusual marriages, but hey, I thought I would still pass this on. I wrote this up for a friend and I decided I wanted to post if on my blog to for reference sake. Anyhow, hope everyone had a good day. ~Heather

1) On those rare occasions you can schedule a date, set them up two in a row. One date for the fighting, and one date for the kissing and making up. I have found that our dates are so infrequent cause there are few people willing to watch four children with disabilities, that we tend to work out everything that can't be said in front of kids, during our dates, and then are left frustrated about not having a date.

2) Find out what makes the other person feel loved. (Spencer feels loved when I wait on him hand and foot, I feel loved when he brings me gifts.)

3)Find out the other persons 'bare minimums'... Spence needs the floor clean. The rest of the house can be dirty but he need the floor cleaned, in order to not feel as overwhelmed.


4) Writing to each other. I have found if I write... A) I am not yelling B) I don't forget what I wanted to say C) If I say something I shouldn't I can erase it before I give it to him (or re-write it better) D) I can separate feelings from fact. Example: I FEEL like I need star bucks to survive. I NEED more sleep.